


Sweet Sorrow

by queenssmoaks



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-10
Updated: 2014-09-10
Packaged: 2018-02-16 21:03:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2284389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenssmoaks/pseuds/queenssmoaks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during 'The Winter Soldier', Natasha and Steve are on the run from S.H.I.E.L.D. An alternate ending to the scene at Sam Wilson's house.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sweet Sorrow

**Author's Note:**

> I found this laying around on my laptop... hope you like it!

She was on the run. Again.

It seemed like Natasha (or whoever she was at that precise moment) was always running from someone or something these days. But not often was it that she was running from S.H.I.E.L.D, the one organization that she thought would never lie to her. Her view on that was changing now, partly because Steve Rogers was standing beside her in plainclothes trying to play the part of her fiancé. Steve had ruined her master plan of stealing the USB drive that held secret information even Nick Fury couldn’t seem to unlock. At least she wouldn’t have to be on her own because, frankly, she really didn’t like the look of the agents that were chasing them. The pair had luckily been able to pass off their show to one of the Apple store workers, who seemed either too oblivious to the fact that Captain America was standing in front of him, or too struck by her beauty to bother questioning them any longer. Her fingers worked quickly over the keyboard as Steve kept a look out for the horde of agents that would be invading the mall any minute: it had already been seven, and S.H.I.E.L.D didn’t waste time when they could help it. Natasha pressed the ENTER key and the information they needed popped up on the screen. 

“New Jersey?” She said, looking over her shoulder at Steve. “Have you been there?”

“A long time ago.” He mused, placing his hand on her shoulder and nudging her out of the store behind a crowd that had just entered. Natasha had reminded him to walk and not run in order to avoid being looked at as suspicious, but his veins were coursing with adrenaline. His heart pumped even harder as he looked up and saw one agent come toward them and assumed correctly that one was behind them as well. “Classic tag team.” He murmured to her, keeping his head low and the hat covering his eyes.

Natasha led Steve to the escalator after they had successfully fooled the agents in the tag team. They either had really effective disguises or they weren’t that high of a level, not as high as Natasha anyway. Just as she took a breath, her eyes widened as her gaze fell on the opposite escalator, where a lead agent was heading up. Turning quickly to Steve, she whispered, “Kiss me, now.”

He looked at her with a confused expression on his face. “What, why?” He asked, and she just shook her head, cupping his face in her hands. “Public displays of affection make people nervous.” She told him, before wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her mouth flush against his.

The kiss was like nothing either of them had felt before. Steve hadn’t kissed anyone since Peggy Carter years ago and Natasha hadn’t kissed anyone since she broke up with Clint. The adrenaline coursing through both of their veins only fueled the kiss and Steve’s arms were wound tight around Natasha’s waist, holding her close to him, while Natasha’s hands found a resting place on the back of his head. Even as they pulled away, they kept a tight grip on one another: neither knew if it was to keep up the ruse they had going or because they simply didn’t want to let go.

The pair quickly found their way outside the mall without conflict, Steve expertly stealing a truck to drive to their destination in New Jersey. How he knew how to do that, Natasha didn’t know, but she had learned through her years to not ask questions if you were doing what was best for the mission. And this was the only option: any other car would have been easily detected by the agency and they would be done for before they were even able to start their trip. As they drove, Natasha kept quiet, her fingers absentmindedly playing with the arrow necklace around her neck. It had been a gift from Clint after the Battle of New York, his way of saying he was glad they could fight together and that they survived. Many were not so lucky, but it only made their cause even more strong. And their relationship, too, at least for a while. Then it all became too much: Clint was off on missions and Natasha was as well, and both seemed to clash. There were too many secrets about too many things to have a serious relationship and the two had parted ways, but she couldn’t seem to remove the necklace.

Steve looked over as he was driving and saw her staring out the window, a sentimental expression overtaking her features. Natasha never got like that, he realized: she was always so strong, maybe even stronger than some of the men in the agency. Her nickname was “Black Widow”, which either labeled her as a lethal hunter or a lethal lover: maybe both, he wasn’t sure about the second option. Clearing his throat, Steve decided to make conversation to make the drive go by a little bit quicker and maybe even lift the mood in the cab.

“So, that nurse across the hall, huh?” He said with a sideways grin, looking over to her and finding a smirk on her face. She had been trying to set him up with every breathing female in the near vicinity of him, but he wasn’t biting. Steve didn’t know how to move on, not from Peggy. She had been his first love and his only love, something he would never be able to forget. Plus, he was technically ninety-five years old and that alone would probably scare off some prospective dates. The fact that he was Captain America didn’t seem to phase anybody at the agency, though: he was mostly known as Captain, a title he had worked hard to earn. He wouldn’t rather be doing anything else other than serving his country but only if it was in the right way, unlike S.H.I.E.L.D was trying to make him do. Steve couldn’t see the sense in doing something destructive when the point of the agency was to protect those who couldn’t protect themselves. And while he was doing that, he couldn’t think much about dates. Well, maybe until now.

“Was that your first kiss since 1945, Rogers? Because you may need to work on it before I tell Cindy anything about you.” Natasha replied, the smirk still gracing her lips. She could only tease Steve because she didn’t know if he had enjoyed it as much as she did: she couldn’t possibly mention anything of the sort. They were partners and they were on a mission: missions always came first, as she had learned quite explicitly with Clint. Romance Romanoff really wasn’t her thing, anyway, and she had made an effort to try and hook Steve up with someone, and that someone wasn’t her.

Steve gaped at her, laughing it off as best he could. “That bad, huh? Well I’ll be sure not to burden you with my terrible kissing skills ever again.” He said dramatically, wondering if the kiss really had been that terrible. No, it couldn’t have been: she didn’t want to pull away as much as he didn’t want to. Get it together, Rogers, he told himself. He was more focused on this mission than any sort of relationship at the moment. Tightening his grip on the wheel discreetly, Steve focused his gaze on the road ahead of him and the cab once again became quiet. 

 

The visit to New Jersey hadn’t gone as well as Steve and Natasha had planned.

But they had gained some useful information from a German scientist who S.H.I.E.L.D had trapped in a bunch of computers. Okay, it was his brain, but it was still creepy as hell. HYRDRA was more sophisticated and advanced than the two of them had thought, which would only make it harder for the two of them to beat it. And the program had sent word to the agents that were tracking them, revealing once he had told Steve and Natasha an array of important information, that there was a missile ready to destroy the training facility. Great, Steve thought to himself as the doors locked themselves. There wasn’t any way to get out, except… He thought quickly and grabbed Natasha’s arm, pulling her to the bunker that was beneath the establishment, just in time before the missile hit the building and exploded. He shielded her with his body, protecting her as best he could. Natasha had still seemed to get injured but it wasn’t anything that she couldn’t fix on her own. She was surprisingly one of the best medics Steve knew, having dealt with other injuries beforehand, but usually being the one to give them.

Steve turned to her in his arms and she appeared to be limp, passed out and unconscious. He was glad that it hadn’t been a worse injury, and once the coast was clear, he climbed out of the hole with Natasha in his arms. He knew he needed to get her somewhere safe if she was going to tend her wounds and they were going to be able to act on this information that they had gathered. The agents would suppose that the two were dead unless otherwise proven, so this worked to the pair’s advantage. Making quick work of finding his way into a field, he decided that the only way they could get home was to wait until the agents dissipated and gotten back to the truck. If they hadn’t found anything in it, they would leave it be. So, he laid down in the tall grass and held her close, looking up at the sky. 

In D.C., it was almost impossible to see the night sky. The buildings and lights were far too much for the stars and were overpowered easily. But here, in the New Jersey countryside, Steve was able to appreciate what nature had to offer. He remembered coming out here after his training with Bucky and watching the sky, even if just for a few minutes. It seemed to put everything into perspective and they could focus on what they really needed to do: not get kicked out of boot camp. The fond memories were enough to make him frown, shaking his head. That was his past and he needed to focus on his future. Peggy was his past and he needed to focus on a future with someone else. Someone like…

Looking overhead, Steve saw the planes retreating and he knew that it was safe to return to the truck to drive them back to D.C. Natasha was still unconscious and he gathered that she probably still would be throughout the ride. She was still breathing, so that was a good sign, and she hadn’t lost much blood. It wasn’t the most ideal of situations but Steve knew exactly where to go. He just hoped that he would be accepted as warmly as he and Natasha needed to be. 

 

Just as Steve put the truck in park, Natasha opened her eyes.

She found him looking down at her with a smile on his face and she quickly sat up, a hand going to her head so she could get her surroundings straight. It was sunny and it looked a whole lot like D.C., which led her to believe he hadn’t slept that entire night and drove straight through. Natasha had a pounding headache but it was seemingly subsiding, though the cuts and bruises on her weren’t. Moving to the upright sitting position, she looked around, wondering where exactly they were.

“Steve? We’re back in D.C., but where are we?” She asked, a brow raising.

His smile hadn’t left his lips and he opened his own door, shutting it before rounding around the front of the truck and opening hers. “At a friend’s house, who I am sure hoping won’t turn us away.” Steve really didn’t know if this was such a good idea but it was too late to turn back now. 

Natasha wouldn’t allow him to help her out of the truck because she was totally independent and could do it herself. She wasn’t hurting much anymore, just a little bit ache-y in some places. Walking beside Steve to the door, she watched as he knocked and a man appeared: the same man that she had found him with earlier that week. She gave him a smile and a nod of recognition as he did the same.

“We need a place to lie low for a while.” Steve told the man, who identified himself as Sam. Sam nodded and stepped aside, allowing them to come in. Natasha and Steve did just that and the man quickly locked the door behind them, pointing to the bedroom with attached bath. “You can go clean up in there and I’ll make breakfast.” He told them, before patting Steve on the shoulder and heading towards what was apparently the direction of the kitchen. 

Steve and Natasha made their way towards the quarters and she shut the door behind them once they were both inside, leaning against the door. Opening her mouth and then closing it again, she was speechless as he sat down on the bed and looked over at her. Tilting her head to the side, she simply smiled and took in his features, something she had never focused on much. His sandy blonde hair, his blue eyes, and a build that any man would be willing to die for: these were all elements that made up Steve Rogers. But the most important elements were ones that could not be seen: his caring nature, his loving attitude. Those are things that she admired the most, even in a man that was just as deep in trouble as she was working for S.H.I.E.L.D. As Steve removed his boots, she lifted herself from leaning against the door and came to sit next to him, taking off her boots as well. Each of them looked up and stared at each other once their boots were removed and Natasha cleared her throat to break the silence.

“I just wanted to thank you. For... for not leaving me there and keeping me safe. I was convinced for sure that I wasn’t making it out of there alive.” She said softly, looking over at him. He was smiling softly at her, and then shook his head.

“You couldn’t possibly believe that I would leave you there. No man left behind, remember? That’s the first thing every soldier learns.” Steve stood up and made his way towards the bathroom, pulling his white t-shirt over his head and casting it to the floor. It wasn’t anything Natasha hadn’t seen before and she didn’t think the two could ever be shy with one another. She gave him one last smile as he disappeared into the bathroom and she heard the water turn on, a sure sign she was completely alone for a while. 

Lying back on the bed, Natasha closed her eyes. She didn’t have much time to think about her life, and mostly because she didn’t want to, because dwelling on the past wasn’t conducive to moving on. Her fingers had found her arrow necklace again and this time, she realized what she was doing. Shaking her head, she tugged softly on the chain, breaking it at the clasp where it was held together. Sitting up again and holding it in her palm, Natasha closed her hand for a moment before opening it again. She couldn’t hold on to the past because her future would be nothing with those remnants. Standing up and going over to the trashcan, she tossed it in, hearing the soft sound it made as it hit the metal. Clint was her past and she knew she had a future. Just then, the bathroom door opened and Steve emerged with a white towel tied around his waist. She raised a brow and looked over at him as he came out to sit on the bed, her pace bringing her over to the bathroom door. Turning with her one hand on it, she grinned. “You better have left some shampoo and soap for me, Rogers.” She told him before shutting the door and proceeding to have her own relaxing shower.

Steve picked up his clothes that he had tossed on the floor and folded them, sitting back on the bed in his towel once he had finished. He wondered what she was doing over at the trashcan when he came out of the bathroom, and quietly tiptoed over to see what it was. He saw a glint against the metal and realized that it was Natasha’s necklace, the one that Clint had given to her as a present. He knew that they had broken up but he hadn’t pressed about it because it hadn’t been his business. But maybe, just maybe… Before he could think of another word, the bathroom door opened and revealed Natasha wrapped in a white towel like a dress, her damp hair falling against her shoulders. She looked beautiful, just as beautiful as she thought he looked. Walking over to her, Steve reached out and touched the hollow of her throat with his finger, right where the pendant had been lying the past year.

“You took it off.” Steve said softly, removing his finger just as quickly as he had put it there. But Natasha reached for it, holding one of his hands between both of hers as she nodded.

“You can’t hold onto the past. You probably know that better than I do… But I just can’t anymore. I need to focus on my future, because that’s all that matters now.” She told him, squeezing his hand softly as she bit her lip.

Steve simply smiled because that’s the exact thought he had had. Taking one last leap of faith, he leaned down to softly press his lips against hers, and he was met with the reciprocation of the kiss. Natasha dropped his hand and wrapped her arms around his neck once again, Steve’s arms wrapping around her waist, and it was a mirror scene of the escalator just the day before. Maybe their feelings had been pent up and there was no longer a reason to not give this a try, not to give them a try. Both of them deserved to be happy and it was possible that they would be able to do that for each other. The kiss was just as sweet, if not sweeter, than their previous encounter, and they held on to each other for dear life it seemed. As Steve pulled away, his fingers reached up to twirl around the end of her damp hair and a smile appeared across Natasha’s face.

“Well, now, that was certainly better than yesterday. Have you been practicing, Rogers?” She said with a bounce in her voice.

“Nah, I just didn’t get to show you my full potential.” Steve said with a grin.

“Your potential is certainly high-ranking. Now, come on, we have something to take care of before we show S.H.I.E.L.D once and for all.” Natasha told him, tugging him towards the door where she could smell breakfast.

“Talk about a warm-up activity.” He said, capturing Natasha’s lips once again as the room around them faded and they were the only ones in existence.


End file.
